Why do I think because I've waitied for more than 2 years, that I have waited long enough? There are believers- strong followers and committed members of your kingdom- who wait so much longer to see the visions you've placed on their hearts unfold. And just because I think I see the obstacle in my way...I see it not budging or moving in my favor- does not mean it is immovable to you? Does not mean you WON'T move it. You just aren't moving it, yet.
And just because I have a timetable in my head- a plan- a 'perfect' scenario, does not mean that is what you have for me. When my dates pass me by, it does not mean you are passing me by. That you are leaving me and my vision unfulfilled. That you are refusing to use me and this passion you planted.
I know you are stronger, bigger, more powerful than anything in my way. I know your timing is perfect and that I need to stop whining about the wait. I do want to do things your way...I do. And as much as the wait makes me doubt you have a plan, it is in the waiting that my dependence on you grows. If this was a stroll in the park, how would I see you? How would I be prepared to rely on you in the larger obstacles ahead?
I seek to serve you above all things. My desire is to truly be beyond myself in this life...so up to my neck in things that are out of my control that staying afloat is completely because of you. I want to be wholeheartedly dependent on you with every breath. To live a sacrificial life that screams volumes for your kingdom. No more day to day- lunch box to lunch box- I want to do something bigger...something more...something I could never do without you.
And that is a longing I know glorifies you. One you will nurture, mold, and purpose for your kingdom. One that will surely be used to touch the lonely, the fatherless, the orphans in poverty. To touch them and bring them home.
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