I was reading. And in the midst of my reading, you spoke directly to me, Lord. Now, I expected my heartstrings to be pulled- tugged hard, really-after all, the book was about helping the helpless...meeting the needs of the fatherless. I never expected, though, to find encouragement.
I read: "God told her not to mention it (her love for mission work), but that it would be 'all right'; she needed to trust him to speak to me." Ah- trusting you to speak. Now, that is a challenging concept- especially since you have blessed me with so many words, and I have a strong desire to articulate myself until heard.
Do I trust you to speak? Do I trust you to do the heart changing? I don't know that I do. In all honesty, my impatience for my plan to be applied has lead me more to despair and disappointment than trust. I am more quick to assume you are not going to fulfill the dreams you planted in me, than I am to trust you will indeed speak and move mountains.
It occurs to me, though, that a person can only hear so much at once. If I don't stop talking, how will you be heard? And if I am so reliant on my own persuasive skills, how will I ever know the details of your plan and what you would have us do.
I know the book I read is about so much more. It is about the lost and lonely, the needs of the abandoned and abused, the love wanted by the neglected, the orphan. So much more than simply letting you speak. But, I needed to hear that in the midst of my longing to love orphans as my own, I must trust you to speak.
Enable me daily to close my own mouth and wait on your words, and remind me often that this too will be 'all right.'
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